I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
