how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
