I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
