i just wanna soil my oats bro
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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