Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
