Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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