Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
She even gives head with a lisp.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
