Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
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