Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Your penis caused this!
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
