What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
