Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I lost the right to judge tonight
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
