I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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