Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
PANTIES FOUND
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