Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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