every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
