i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
