FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize
