I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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