I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
