no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Randomize
