I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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