Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
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