chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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