don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
