I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
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