my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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