I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Walk of Shame today included voting.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
