I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Randomize