dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
