Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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