I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
