It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
