I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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