I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
