I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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