She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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