so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
