I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
