totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Randomize
