Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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