Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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