I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
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