my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
accomplished twins. life is a go
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
