I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
i need an iv and a liver transplant
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
