lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Randomize
