What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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