there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Small penises have feelings too.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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