Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Randomize
