It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Randomize
