After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Randomize
