let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
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