i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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